What do you do? Do you turn and run? Do you take life in stride and keep moving forward? What if it feels like you are drowning? Do you call for help? Or do you try to save yourself? If you feel like you have been hurt by someone, how do you get past the pain? How does your heart begin to heal?

These are all questions I have faced or still dealing with on a daily basis. There have been a lot of rough times in the last couple of years that have made me evaluate the importance of having boundaries. Yes, I enjoy the day to day relationships that have been cultivated over the years, but I have come to a breaking point where if I don’t start taking care of myself, I won’t be able to continue the work God has placed me here to do.

I have done a lot of praying and asking God for strength to just get through each day but I still try to do everything by myself. I have said “Yes” to things I don’t want to do and then do those things begrudgingly. I have heaped on more stress onto myself than I care to acknowledge. I have had more sleepless nights then I care to recount. I have not asked for help when I needed it most. These are all things that I am calling the “lemons in my life”. Everything those lemons represent, I have brought on to myself. I can, however, ask the people around me for help. There are a bunch of people ready to help me if I would only ask. They would give me advice, support my decisions, give encouragement when I have doubts that I am doing the right thing, they will and are praying for me every day. BUT, and this is a BIG but, I have to open my mouth to say that I need help. I have to let them know how I am feeling and what my needs are. I have difficulty in this area where I am afraid to ask for help or be vulnerable where and when I should be vulnerable. I have put up walls where there shouldn’t be any and I don’t have boundaries where they are needed most. Pretty much all of my boundary walls are crumbly and not firm at all. Where my no should be, a yes resides. My “Yes” has had too much exercise and is overpowering whereas my “No” has had very little exercise and is weak and feeble. It is time for me to make a change and let my “no” have more time in the sun but I do not want to hurt others with my “no”. It is difficult to know when and how my “no” should come out especially since it will have rough, jagged edges and may taste rather sour in the beginning.

My body (includes the heart, mind, and soul) is a temple for God. If I don’t take care of my body and I let myself become tarnished by stress, un-forgiveness, and bitterness, how then can I shine for God’s glory? How can I be a reflection of Christ and his love for everyone? We as Christ followers are commissioned to love our neighbors as ourselves. If we can’t love and take care of ourselves, how can we love and take care of those around us?

I know that my strength is found in Jesus and the promises of God’s word, but it is also good to ask for help from others and work together to solve problems. There is no need to be a “lone wolf”. God has placed people around me that I can lean on and share my lemons with. When I am able to be vulnerable with another person, that is when healing will begin. It may take a while for me to be completely vulnerable and to actually see that healing is taking place but I trust that healing is here.